she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
