it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
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