My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
he was CRYING into my vagina
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
