garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
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