sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
