i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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