WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
