Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
