I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Randomize
