He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
