So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Randomize
