she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
