Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
