I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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