i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
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