Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
