I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
