I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Randomize
