there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
