At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
