im drinking this country out of the recession.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
