She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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