I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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