This is not my ceiling
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
