Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
