She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
