also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
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