I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
love makes seman taste better
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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