He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
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