very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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