We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
