Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
My breasts were aching with rage.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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