do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
