Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
