I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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