What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
