I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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