I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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