Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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