dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
