bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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