Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
