Don't you send me to vm
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
