i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
It's just like the Real World with babies
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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