I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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