you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Randomize
