Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
sarcasm needs its own font
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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