OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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