Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Randomize
