I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Randomize
