someone get that fucking seahorse.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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