If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
